Cold and Light

Two things to share today.

1.  I have another blimming cold (feel free to replace blimming with a stronger word but I'm being polite).  This is nothing earth shattering in the current climate of swine flu and normal winter bugs but I have honestly had a cold every few months since I was first pregnant about 4 years ago.  I swear that most people think I secretly live on nothing but pork pies but fruit, vegetables and salad pass my lips daily and I take vitamins, drink green tea and even recently tried echinacea but to seemingly no avail.  Something inside me must have withered and stopped fighting these germs whilst my body was busy building my babies - does anyone have any tips?

I overheard Husband telling GG this morning (who has been such a mardy moo all weekend to put it mildly) to be good and nice to Mummy today as she is feeling poorly.  In the car on the way to nursery this morning she asked me when she will be 100, I said "when you are 100" but then she repeated the question again and I twigged the response she wanted - "ah! in about 96 years time petal".  "Oh" she said, "that's a long time..........when you are 100 Mummy I will look after you".  I smiled and said that was the nicest thing she had said to me. "And Mummy, when I am your age and you are poorly I will drive you and you can sit next to me in the front of the car".  At this I reached behind me and we squeezed hands in silent, mutual love.  This made me felt a whole lot better.

2.  I have decided to read the list of books Marie Claire stated in an issue last year were the 'must read books of women everywhere'.  One of them was Eat, Love, Pray which I handily got for Christmas.  I am only half way through and I LOVE THIS BOOK.  It is like a novel, biography, food guide and the best self help book ever rolled into one.

One of my stumbling blocks in parenthood has been my internal conflict about being fulfilled as 'myself' and fulfilling my Mummy/Housewife role (I will NEVER agree that these these roles are automatically intertwined!).  Anyway, coupled with my historic need to continually have a project (e.g. my blog) this book has made me realise I have the inability to be entirely content.

This issue is discussed (page 128 to be precise) and details a theory which has had a huge calming effect on me.  I will explain in very basic terms if I can.  Inside of each and everyone of us is a Supreme Self which is continually at peace, it is our actual true identity and divine and has been smothered by our worries, resentments, displeasure, pressures from external influences, our egos and general day to day experiences.  Unpeeling all these suffocating layers will therefore get you get in touch with your Supreme Self and therefore your 'true' self and continual contentment.

A big challenge huh?  I will continue reading...